


Not a Christmas Party

by firecat



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Christmas, December Holidays, Drunkenness, Gen, Lux (Lucifer TV), Public Nudity, Saturnalia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25304521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firecat/pseuds/firecat
Summary: Chloe drops by Lucifer's annual Saturnalia party.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2020





	Not a Christmas Party

**Author's Note:**

> FFFC 100th Special Challenge  
> Table D: Fairytale/Fantasy/SciFi  
> Written for the prompt: 24) old ritual

Chloe feels like humoring Lucifer tonight. It is soon to be Christmas, and for once she has all her shopping done ahead of time. She can fulfill her promise to drop by Lux.

“It’s a special event, and I especially want you to be there, Detective. Come on, get into the holiday spirit!” Lucifer had said. 

“A Christmas party? You?” asked Chloe unbelievingly.

“Bloody hell, Detective! Decidedly _not_ a Christmas party! What do you take me for?!”

It all sounded harmless enough. But when she arrives, she is quite disturbed by the state of things. 

Lux is chaotic at the best of times. Dancing, drinking, disrobing... At least Maze and the bouncers under her keep fighting to a minimum. 

Tonight? No one is tending the bar, so people are helping themselves. Half the guests are already falling-down drunk, half are in violation of indecent exposure laws, and the music is both deafening and terrible.

And Lucifer? As he spots her, waves cheerily, and moves toward her, she realizes he’s wearing a barmaid’s apron and a bow tie. _And nothing else._

Chloe puts her head in her hands. It’s not even a Thursday.

Chloe wants to turn around and march right back out again. But...a promise is a promise. Lucifer has had her back plenty of times. This once, she can have his back...uh no, that is to say, _return the favor_ by appearing at his event. Briefly.

“Lucifer! That’s, _*ahem*,_ not your usual host attire. What’s the occasion? What’s going on at Lux?”

“It’s my annual Saturnalia event, Detective! Come and celebrate the Golden Age. The age of peace, harmony, stability, and prosperity. That is, before everything went _to Hell,_ as you humans so quaintly like to put it.”

He pours gold liquid into a glass, and offers it to Chloe. He swigs directly from the bottle, then nonchalantly lifts the skirt of the apron to wipe his mouth. Chloe manages to look away in time. She’s seen it before, of course, but she prefers not to. It’s _disturbingly_ large. 

Chloe takes a big gulp of the drink for courage. It’s sweet and spicy and delicious. It makes her want to smile.

“Saturnalia? But Lucifer, you claim to be the Devil.”

“No, Detective, I _am_ the Devil.”

Chloe ignores the bullshitting. Tonight’s she's _determined_ to humor him. “The Devil doing ancient Pagan ritual? It feels like crossing the streams or something. So why?”

“Why? To piss off Dear Old Dad, of course,” says Lucifer.

“How does it do that?” Chloe wants to know.

“He’s so hung up on that ridiculous rule of his about worshipping no other gods. What better way to poke fun at it than to go polytheistic? I even got museums from all over to lend me statues.” 

Chloe sees some of the statues, and is glad to note they’re all behind sturdy looking glass. Otherwise she hates to think what the out-of-control guests would do to them.

“And why that holiday?”

Lucifer waxes enthusiastic. “Saturnalia is a celebration of everything I believe in! Pleasure. Free speech. Equality. Slavery put aside. Masters served, servants feasted. Public inebriation and gambling. No work. No war. The Lord of Misrule. I was always particularly fond of him.”

“Yes, you would be,” remarks Chloe drily.

“Oh and Saturnalia’s where Christmas gift-giving came from, you know.”

“I didn’t know. How is that relevant?” Chloe asks.

“Christmas stole my schtick, so I’m stealing one of its schticks back.”

 _Saying that three times fast would be a handy test for blood alcohol levels,_ Chloe thinks to herself. “What did Christmas steal from you? Excessive public consumption?”

Lucifer eyes her archly. “The _lights,_ of course,” he says.

“How are ‘lights’ the Devil’s schtick?”

“They aren’t,” he says with some irritation. “They’re _Lucifer’s.”_ He exaggerates the pronunciation. “Where’s your Latin? _Lux_ —the name of my club— _lucis:_ light, _ferre:_ to carry. _I’m_ the light-bringer. Christmas has no business mandating all that twinkly nonsense everywhere.”

“Sorry, I didn’t take Latin in school. I took drama.”

Lucifer slaps his head. “Oh, of course! In that case I forgive your ignorance. Your drama lessons doubtless led to your starring in _Hot Tub High School._ That’s _far_ more interesting than Latin.”

He hands Chloe the bottle of golden liquid. 

“Anyway, thanks for stopping by, and I hope you’ll stay, but I have to go. I’m bartending tonight—” he gestures at the apron— “and Maze was chosen Lord of Misrule. That’s the only part I’m really nervous about.”

Chloe doesn’t even want to know. “Happy Saturnalia, Lucifer.”

Chloe sneaks a peek at Lucifer’s fine backside as he walks away from her. She sips from the bottle, then hands it to a passing reveler before stepping back outside with a bounce in her step. Funny, how seeing Lucifer so often makes her feel just a little more festive.

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-ancient-traditions/saturnalia-december-festival-joy-and-merriment-ancient-rome-004963


End file.
